this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
