Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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