I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
