i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
