she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize