Have you finally orgasmed yet?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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