Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
