My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
