Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
