You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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