there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
