...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
