i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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