so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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