I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
