So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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