I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
