two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
