someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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