Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
