let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
