Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
