I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
