yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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