What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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