Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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