walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
