It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We have started to decorate penises.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
