Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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