I wanna bring you to show and tell
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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