I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
