I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well I just put wine in my tea
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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