Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
