she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
