I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
