counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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