hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
