well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
