So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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