I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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