I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
