i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you will always have a special place in my vag
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
