Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Randomize
