dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
