talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
