Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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