And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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