I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
