i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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