True but thats because hes a fetus.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
