Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
