I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
