Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
