member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize