Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
