I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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