i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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