You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
