honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
