Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
