so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
