This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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