I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
