i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
