Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
