my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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